This week we're looking at What Destroys Relationships and What Builds Them.  First on the list of relationship destroyers is selfishness.  God's word says, "What causes fights and quarrels?  Don't they come from your desires that battle within you?  You want something but you don't get it."  James 4:1-2 NIV  Our desires battling within us--what a descriptive way to portray selfishness.

What desires are battling within you right now?  Do you need/want more recognition?  Better grades?  More success?  More money?  None of those things are necessarily selfish, unless they become the focus of our lives.  After all, each of us wants to be recognized for the good things we do.  If we're in school, doing well is a legitimate pursuit, as is succeeding in life's endeavors.  Money is a dissatisfier, that is if we don't have enough we will be dissatisfied, but we can never have enough to satisfy us.  That's where selfishness comes into play.  When we have an insatiable desire for more, more, more, of whatever we listed above, and that becomes the driving internal force of our lives, that's selfishness.  As James rightly pointed out, that drive causes fights and quarrels.  It has even caused wars.  Selfishness stands in direct opposition to building relationships because it drives wedges between us and what we want and other people.  When we're selfish we see people as "things" to be used to gain what we want, rather than as people.  As someone has said, "We must love people and use things, rather than use people and love things."

Take a moment right now to examine your heart.  Be sure to look deep, not just at the surface.  Is love for God and others central in your heart, or is your pursuit of things on the "throne" of your heart?  If it's God and people, praise the Lord!  Thanks Him for that great blessing. If He's not first, then admit that, repent of it--or turn away from it--and ask Him to come in and take charge once again.  Tomorrow we'll look at the antidote to selfishness, but in the meantime, putting God first is the universal antidote to sin!

Let's pray:  Heavenly Father, Thank You for being worthy of our worship and praise.  We confess we are often selfish, we put our desires before You.  Forgive us and by Your Spirit restore us and empower us to live with You first in all that we are, think and do.  This we pray in Jesus' name.  Amen.